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2018-08-12

Married for a Lifetime

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(Ephesians 5:31, NIV)

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother

and be united to his wife,

and the two will become one flesh.”

I.  Introduction

     Paul, quoting from Genesis 2:24, recorded a wonderful definition of marriage.  He wrote, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31, NIV).  The two words, “one flesh,” describe a deeply intimate and passionate marriage relationship expressed physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

     This is the kind of marriage God wants you and your spouse to have.  It’s the kind of marriage God wants every couple to have.  No matter where your marriage is now, you can change it into this kind of marriage!  Marriages that last a lifetime are built on three essential pillars—God, Accountability, and Communication.  So in this lesson we will briefly examine each of the three.  

II.  God

     The first pillar is God!  You need to begin now—right now—improving and strengthening your relationship with God.  The words that John the Baptist said must become your personal motto:  “He must become greater; I must become less” (John 3:30, NIV).  Your focus must be more on what God wants and less on what you want.  You need to rekindle the intimacy of your relationship with God.  Successfully learning to develop a marriage that will last a lifetime depends, to a large degree, on your spirituality (how close each of you is to the Lord, and how close you are to Him as a couple).

     King David wrote, “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain” (Psalm 127:1, NIV).  Jesus said, “I am the vine; you are the branches.  If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5, NIV).  Pretty clear, isn’t it?  Any endeavor attempted on your own will fail.  Any endeavor attempted with God, an endeavor that honors Him, will succeed—including building a great marriage.

     Before you panic, let me assure you that you don’t have to be a spiritual giant to enrich your marriage.  All you need is a little faith.  Jesus described the awesome power of a tiny amount of faith when He said, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you” (Matthew 17:20, NIV).

     A mustard seed is incredibly small.  All God asks is that you do what He says to do to develop at least mustard-seed-size faith.  The spiritual key to developing faith is being exposed to God’s Word.  Paul wrote, “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (Romans 10:17, NKJV).

     Exposure to God’s Word can be achieved in two ways.  The first is personal study.  Paul wrote, “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth” (II Timothy 2:15, KJV).  The second is regularly meeting with a local church where the Word of God is preached.  The author of the Book of Hebrews wrote, “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,  not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:24-25, NIV).

     I can’t stress enough the importance of regular exposure to God’s Word.  It has the potential to become a powerful force in your life and marriage.  The author of the Book of Hebrews also wrote, “The word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12, NKJV).

III.  Accountability

     The second pillar that supports a marriage that lasts a lifetime is accountability.  You and your spouse each need to find a person who will serve as an accountability partner.  It is no accident that every time Jesus wanted something significant accomplished, He sent two people to get the job done.  For example, Matthew wrote, “Jesus went around teaching from village to village.  Calling the Twelve to him, he began to send them out two by two and gave them authority over impure spirits” (Mark 6:6b-7, NIV).  God knows that everyone needs to be accountable to someone.

     King Solomon explained the importance of having an accountability partner when he wrote, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, NIV).

     Your accountability partner should be of the same gender as you with a strong, stable, healthy marriage.  He or she should be an “I’ve got your back” kind of friend who is willing to take the time to meet with you face-to-face on a regular basis to question you about how you are doing at building a marriage that lasts a lifetime.  His or her job description is as follows:

• Love Jesus
• Love you
• Pray for you
• Confront you without hesitation or reservation
• Comfort you when needed
• Encourage you often
• Listen to you without judging

     Start praying—right now—about who your accountability partner should be.  Be sure to ask God for the right person!  James wrote, “You do not have, because you do not ask God” (James 4:2b, NIV). When you think you have identified the right person, crank up your courage and simply ask that person to minister to you by holding you accountable for building a marriage that will last a lifetime!

IV.  Communication

     The third pillar that supports a marriage that lasts a lifetime is meaningful, positive communication.  Every couple should engage in a minimum of an hour of uninterrupted one-on-one positive communication at least four days per week.  You won’t need to schedule negative communication.  It will happen in spite of all you can do to stop it.  You will, however, need to work hard at scheduling times for positive communication.

     Time together is the foundation of every intimate relationship.  Time does not guarantee intimacy, but it is absolutely necessary for intimacy to be created.  The Old Testament book entitled “Song of Solomon” is a marvelous illustration of the benefits of meaningful, positive communication between a husband and wife.  In the Song, Solomon said to his bride, “How beautiful you are, my darling!  Oh, how beautiful!” (Song of Solomon 1:15a, NIV).  Then his bride replied to Solomon, “How handsome you are, my beloved! Oh, how charming!” (Song of Solomon 1:16a, NIV).

     Meaningful, positive communication created such a strong bond between Solomon and his bride that she said, “My beloved is mine and I am his” (Song of Solomon 2:16a, NIV).  That’s the kind of mutual devotion that creates marriages that last a lifetime!

V.  Conclusion

     God’s plan is for every marriage to be a marriage that lasts a lifetime!  Jesus answered a question asked by the Pharisees about divorce by quoting Genesis 2:24 and then offering additional commentary to stress God’s plan for the permanence of marriage.  Matthew wrote, “Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?’  ‘Haven’t you read,’ he replied, ‘that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?  So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:3-6, NIV).

Next Steps

• Believe in Jesus to receive the gift of eternal life.  Jesus said, “God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16, NIV).
• Ask God to teach you how to develop a marriage that will last a lifetime.  After all, Jesus said, “What God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:6b, NIV).  Then teach your kids and grandkids how to do the same thing!

Bring a friend to church next week!

Please join us!!

 Sunday service starts at 10am

1/2 mile south of Holcomb on Hwy 25.

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